Before 9 May, I don't feel envious when I see couples behaving intimately. After that, I do. Haha.. I don't know why am I bringing this up but I think it's probably because I saw/heard couples calling each other 'Dear'. I thought I'm totally fine and everything's back to normal. But somethings just keep reminding of those days when happy stuffs happened.
I've always wished that my first one is my husband. And I actually feel quite ashamed when my first one is only a month plus. To say that I already let go of this relationship totally, is not the truth. How long more do I need? Memories can't be forgotten just like that. Especially happy ones. I'm trying to keep myself busy... But I guess that doesn't work. It's just another act of self-delusion. How I wish my brain is like the computer. I can just delete whatever files I don't need or don't want.
Before 9 May, I always have the excited feeling of meeting him after work or on weekdays. After that, I was kinda lost cos 一夜之间一切都不一样了. But subsequently, I got used to those days where I go home straight after work and those days where I stay at home more often.
Lucikly I got my family and friends to support me :D I'm so fortunate!!! These are the people who will be by my side forever and I must cherish them.
My eyelids are closing soon. Got to get my beauty sleep and go to work tmr!!! :D
Tata ~~~
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